Hermification
by Diruo
Summary: Full title: Hermification, or how to create a Hermione in ten days. Summary: There's something happening to Harry but he doesn't seem to care nor notice.


Disclaimer: Everything recognisable as Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and those whom she has sold the rights to. It doesn't belong to me and neither am I making any profit on writing this. It is written purely for my and hopefully others amusement.

Warnings: If you mind a story that makes fun of HP characters, especially Hermione and Ginny, don't read this. Otherwise enjoy!

**Hermification****, or how to create a Hermione in ten days **

**Day one****: the value of a good book **

"Mate, you're becoming more and more like Hermione." Ron said one day when Harry after a week of focused studying (to make up for all the time he lost by following Malfoy everywhere) went to the library again after lessons where finished on Friday afternoon.

Harry didn't respond lost in his newly discovered world of books. Why hadn't he ever noticed this smorgasbord of free knowledge before?

Hermione on the other hand did hear and hit Ron over the head with one of her tomes on Ancient Runes.

"What?! Was it something I said?" Dear oblivious Ron whined loudly getting reproving looks from Madam Pince.

**Day two****: a cascade of hair**

Harry woke up in the morning feeling ready to go to library again. He got dressed and ran a hand through his hair in his usual half-hearted attempt to tame it when he noticed something unusual. It was at least a foot longer than yesterday. But he didn't have time to contemplate it, the library called, so he simply conjured a hair scrunchy, put his hair in a pony-tail and got up to start his day.

**Day three****: my way or the highway **

"You know Ron, if you only spent half the time you spend on chess and Quidditch on studying you would have really good grades by now." Harry said.

"Harry? Mate, are you feeling alright?"

"Of course I am, but you better finish that essay before Quidditch practise tomorrow or else…"

"Or else what?"

"I think you know what Ronald."

"No, you wouldn't…"

"Yes I would."

"Nooooo! Please don't kick me of the Quidditch team!"

"Then finish your essay."

**Day four****: there's something about large teeth **

Harry and Ginny sat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room flirting while waiting for it to be time to go to the Quidditch pitch. Ginny had just given a sarcastic comment to which Harry grinned.

"Oh, what big front teeth you have Harry." Ginny sighed dreamily

"All the better to… Wait, what?!" Harry exclaimed.

"Don't worry Harry, Actually I find it rather attractive, it gives your face a certain distinguished air… How much bigger are they?"

"Oh, well, why don't come investigate the matter yourself?"

**Day five****: subtle changes, splitting hairs really **

"Harry did you do something to your hair? It looks much lighter and slightly bushy." Ginny said as Harry was walking her to her class that morning on Valentine's Day.

"It does? No, I haven't, not that I'm aware of in any case."

Later that day he found a valentine's card upon his pillow in the dorms. As he opened it, it started to sing in a high squeaky voice:

_His eyes are as brown as a muddy whale,  
His hair is as bushy as a squirrel's tail,  
And now he's mine and he's really divine,  
My he__ro who makes the dark quail._

He grimaced and read the greeting written inside the card: 'I know how much you liked the last card I sent. You didn't show it but I know you really loved it on the inside. Hugs and kisses // Your Gin'

**Day six****: raise your hand for hand raising **

Ron ducked as Hermione's hand shot up in the air during DADA only to be hit by Harry's hand shooting up from the other direction. He sighed but didn't think more about it. After all DADA was Harry's best subject and Hermione, well, she didn't really have a best subject she was good at practically _everything_.

Then after lunch when they were sitting in Transfiguration Ron once again dogged under Hermione's hand when he suddenly got hit by Harry's hand. Again. He hoped that this trend wouldn't continue. He knew that people said that he had a thick skull, but there's only so much abuse even a thick skull can take.

**Day seven****: the need to give unwanted help **

"Seamus, you need to emphasise the 'e' more and your wrist is too stiff. Here let me show you." Harry said and swished his wand to perform the charm.

They were sitting in their Charms class and Seamus had caught his eyebrow on fire when trying to perform a glamour charm. Seamus didn't seem to appreciate Harry's help as he turned around to Dean and muttered:

"Who does he think he is?"

Later that day in Herbology Harry noticed Ron having some troubles with his plant.

"Ron, don't be so impatient. Didn't you hear what professor Sprout said? These plants need a firm but gentle hand when being re-potted. Otherwise they get scared and shrivel up. You also…"

"Harry! I don't know what's wrong with you lately but stop lecturing me! I get enough of it from Hermione.

**Day eight****: reaching for Os **

"Mr. Potter please stay behind for a moment." Professor McGonagall called out at the end of the transfiguration lesson of the day.

Harry approached McGonagall's desk and waited patiently for her to speak.

"I wanted to congratulate you for doing so well in today's lesson, Mr. Potter." she said. "Continue like this and I wouldn't hesitate to say that you could be getting an O on your NEWTs."

"Thank you, Professor. I never really realised how valuable the library was and how long way a little studying before the lessons could go." Harry smiled and then left for Charms where Professor Flitwick too had something good to say about the future of his grades.

**Day nine****: Wonky Faints? Who cares! **

"Come on Harry, drop that book. It's time for Quidditch practise. You were going to practise your Wronski Feints, remember?" Ron called out from the stairs leading up to the dorms where he had just put on his Quidditch gear.

"Who cares about Wonky Faints, I really want to read this book. I never realised how interesting and useful Arithmancy could be." Harry responded without looking up from his book whereupon Ron performed a real faint down on the floor where he remained until he woke up a couple of minutes later.

**Day ten****: the set is complete **

Ten days after Harry first realised the value of books he woke up feeling rather different. He was immensely tired and achy and just didn't feel like getting out of bed at all. As it was a Sunday he didn't. Several hours later he awoke to the sound of a loud scream and a chilly breeze. He opened his eyes and realised it was Ron that was screaming after having pulled off Harry's sheets in order to wake him up. He looked down at his body and noticed a pair of breasts that had formed during the night and the absence of something a bit further down.

"Stop your screaming Ron!" she shouted. "Hm, I wonder if I should start to call myself Harriet." she said in a quieter voice when Ron fell silent. Unfortunately Ron heard this and as he had already exhausted one of his ways of dealing with shock and was left with the other which was of course fainting.

And so the story of how Hogwarts' school of Witchcraft and Wizardry acquired another Hermione is complete.


End file.
